For all the things my mother do and I'm grateful for it, I still cannot tolerate her posionous mouth which always spew out rubbish and set to disrupt the harmony within the family. And I always don't understand she just can't think before she speaks...always stating she is a direct person and she feel uncomfortable keeping it in her chest without regard for the feeling of the person she is refering to. And I've been living with this for a decade and more so I'm pretty surprised I did not turn into a bad tempered and violence-prone monster Haha. I mean I do have a temper but not that exactly that bad la...
But it also mould the rebellious streak in me..mine sister is worse thou. During my teenage year, I will always try do the exact opposite of what my mother instructs me to do. My teenage years were pretty topsy turvey, with all the arguments and whatsoever but then again my sister got it worse. So who's saying boys are the more rebellious one? As I grow up and have a mind of my own, I've known I don't like to go along with the flow that much. I think it is alright to be a little different..as long as you don't purposely draw attention to yourself. So when majority of the secondary school classmates went to JC, I opted for poly even though I have a choice because I don't want to spend 2 years struggling badly thru countless assignments and stuffs. I've no regrets going to poly. I'm glad I met a great bunch of friends and excel in my work even though I'm not pretty interested in it. Seriously speaking, much of it is due to efforts put in and of coz, MATHS. It's quite ironic because Maths is always my worse subject in primary and secondary levels but I'm getting good grade for it in poly or even right now in University. I guess perhaps the maths then were easy then or rather it's foundation maths in Uni that we are talking about so the level is not that hard but it's good to be humble and modest Haha.
Anyway, it seems it is all coming back to full circle to the current circumstances because I have already apply to switch course to business in NTU. I hope it is successful and in turn provide me another environment to strive in. Of course, there is no straight 100% success. In fact, it is a 50-50 gamble and if I did manage to get in, I have to make double hard effort to turn the odds better for myself indeed.
Life is a gamble isn't it? And what's best to do it when you are still young so when you look back you know at least you have try. Sometimes I'm so pissed off with myself for wasting my time when I know I can actually do a little bit more..wallowing in self pity, delaying decisions to the next day, the next month, the next year and before you know it, the opportunity is gone and then it starts all over again lamenting this and that. Be more decisive and if you try at least you have 50% chances of success. If you don't, a big fat 0% or rather 100% failure rate is starring at you right in your face spitting spitefully. And I am referring to myself for skipping the AE exam and getting a straight F for not trying and hence getting 2 F in return.Perhaps it is retribution? Hence, a very valuable lesson learn here. No matter what, try to achieve and excel in your dreams and prove to the whole world what you are capable of.
Oh my gosh, I guessed I have written alot today. Perhaps I can be a motivational speaker too. That's all folks. Think about it for all those who are always so indecisive..you know I mean who haha hint (Hulky get fainty when someone pull his bag from behind) and best pray you make the wise decision for yourself then.
posted by Immortali @ 12:42 am
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