Why Are You Here?

It's a Sad Sad Situation

It just suddenly dawned on me while I was staring into space that I have been really unhappy for the past few months. Though I tried to live life as normal ( Tough Times Don't Last, Tough Man Do or Sux It Up Like A Man ), it does not mask the fact that I’m still unhappy over things happening at my workplace. And the worst thing of all, there is nothing joyous to look forward to till the end of this year.

And it seems like a few months ago during this year June period, circumstances were not as bad as it seems. I certainly remembered the “happier” times I spent with my platoon mates during duty or while we are playing soccer, basketball or swimming during our standby period. Suddenly typhoon, earthquakes, hurricanes, snowstorms came without a warning and turn our lives upside down left and right.

Therefore, though we are basically doing the same stuffs as we did before in the past, a lot of changes had take place and they are not necessary made for the greater good for everyone. A common observation is tempers flared up more easily and conversation became lesser as everyone is feeling tired and pressured by forces acting upon us.

Another time I was chatting with the men from my platoon and he was saying he started getting into more arguments with his family because his father remarked what’s so difficult about the job he is doing since he is coming home every other day. The other men was telling me he don’t talk to his family at all when he is at home because he is very tired and it also act as his own preventive measures of avoiding an argument with his family.

Read closely and you can see the relation. To avoid misunderstanding/arguments, both parties must make attempt to understand each other position and COMMUNICATE. But how the FCUK are you going to communicate when your mind goes numb and you absolutely have no wishes to care about all others things around you because you just want to sleep.

I, myself is an example of the above. I don’t talk much when I reach home after dismount. My face doesn’t show any expression at all. My mother remarked I look like Justice Bao and she scolded me just because things are not going well over at my workplace doesn’t mean I can show attitude to everyone in the house. But the simple truth is I’m too tired to talk to anyone, beside there is nothing to talk about and even if there is something to talk about, nothing can be done to make the situation better. Therefore, I prefer to shut up and do my own stuffs. I followed my normal routine of having dinner, watching TV, surfing net and turning in for the night at 11pm, waking up the next day at 0615 to book in cap for duty.

The same old monotonous routine for 3 consecutive weeks until if I’m lucky I can secure my weekend at the end of 3rd week.

Hopefully things will start to get better, not worse after this year has pass. Then at least I can start looking forward to my ORD, be it long or short, at least it give us something to look forward to.

p/s: What started out as a short post started to get longer as I type along. I'm so sorry if it kinda bored you to tears.

posted by Immortali @ 3:18 pm