Why Are You Here?: March 2005

My good friend Mr Darren Lee currently In Sispec ASLC a fcuking Hard-Core smoker Welcome...King Of Marlboro LIGHTS

Every Sunday is a Routine

Every Sunday is a routine. I will sleep very late on Saturday night and wake up on Sunday around 11am. Next thing to do will be reading the newspaper and keeping up with the current issues in Singapore with a cup of coffee and breakfast on the table. After the newspaper I will switch on my computer to play some games chat with friends listen to Yes933 top 20 countdowns till around 3pm in the afternoon. Then I proceed on to take a nap which is likely to last till 530pm. Then I make my way to Lot 1 (neighborhood shopping centre) to browse some books in the library, play some arcade games and buy packet dinner. At around 7pm multi-tasking will start. I will switch on the TV, the computer, eat dinner, pack my stuffs to prepare to go back to camp, upload new songs to my mp3players, checked out my Friendster, emails and Blog. I guessed I have been following this routine so religiously for the past 9 months (from my time in BMTC till now) that if some other event cropped up and disrupt my routine, I will feel uneasy. I hate Sunday immensely for it mean Book-In day and I will get slightly moody as if I am waiting for my death sentence from the judge. The journey from my house to the camp take approximately around 1 and ½ hours so most probably I will buy the new paper if it is available, if not I like to “people-gaze” aboard the MRT to see what they are doing during the journey.I don’t normally sleep well on Sunday night and that is the reason why I behave like a walking zombie on Monday when the proper week start.

Today in the newspaper The Sunday Times Lifestyle section, it mentioned that Eagle Company (last time it was Echo, I don’t know why they want to change the name) severly obese recruits will be spending 26 weeks in Tekong for their BMT training. 4 weeks = 1 month 26 weeks =6 months and 2 weeks. 6 months and 2 weeks as a recruit. What the fcuk! It is definitely not fun being the lowest life form in the army for 6 months and 2 weeks. I wondered how they are able to take it. (For your info, during my time Pes A and B recruits spend 10 weeks for their BMT, Pes C 2 weeks and obese batch spend 16 weeks) Perhaps it is all about “karma”as what Zhihao always like to say. You reap what you sow.Who ask them not to watch their diet? Now they suffer because of that.

Secondary School Gathering at Bugis

Yesterday I had a secondary school gathering cum dinner around Bugis. We had a Ma-La steamboat buffet. Maybe it’s because I woke up too early in the morning, maybe I am not accustomed to the spicy food or maybe I don’t like the ambience and the stupid background music playing, I had a dull headache right from the start to the end of the meal. We had balls (a lot of balls such as sotongs, fish and chicken) We had mushrooms, hotdogs, wontons , dumpling, prawns and such. It was a healthy meal but it is definitely not worth the amount of money we paid per person. ($23/pax). I think I will not ever entertain that restaurant to eat again ..not even if someone is treating me. However the main point is still those who fork out time and effort to come for the last minute gathering. All of us still look the same. Some of the guys have already ORD LOH! Dammit and they kept flashing their pink IC around. The girls are as pretty as ever (tongue in cheek comments). They were thinking of organizing oversea trips to nearby area in June but unfortunately I can’t join them. No one brought a camera to capture the moment but at least we know that each one of us is doing well and promised to meet up again soon in future.

Jay Chou as Takumi Fujiwara, Anthony Wong as Bunta Fujiwara, Jordan Chan as Kyouichi Sudou, Edision Chan as Ryousuke Takahashi, Chapman To as Itsuki Takeuchi, Anne Suzuki as Natsuki Mogi

My friend and I were walking past M1 Shop when he said he is eyeing on the phone above Nokia 6170. And I said :" Me too.." But the problem is; Camp do not allow camera-phone and so it is pretty redundant for me but still we made a bet to see who will get it first ( I will definitely lost becoz he is filthy rich and i am filthy poor!)

What A Strange Day..

Today while on a trip to army market and town with my friends, a lot of things happened to me. First on the way to Jurong East MRT from CCK, I saw this familiar lady “Miss Today” whom I had a crush during my 1^st year in poly. My eyes went wide when I saw her and I guessed she still recognize me as she stared at me for a spilt second longer.

When I reached Jurong East, I saw a female secondary school mate from Dunearn. She said Hi to me as I didn’t notice her.All I did remember was her radiant smile.

The train came and while standing on the platform waiting to board the train, I caught sight of a lady sitting on the seat. She eludes a quiet sense of confidence in her and that really caught my attention. As the train was quite pack, I stand by the pole clutching the hand stand when she gave up her seat to an old lady and stood beside me. Instinct set in, mind on high alert mode! The first thing I notice about her is that she was tall even though she was wearing flat soles slippers and her fingers did not have any ring on it. I did not know what to do anyway and so I began to fiddle with my ipod shuffle earpiece. My destination was Lavender while hers was Bugis so she got out a stop earlier than me. After she left, somehow I felt a sense of lost..as if something precious has slipped away. So I told my friend:” let’s go back and find her.” We took the train back to Bugis but alas she was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be…

Then I met up with another friend and 3 of us walked from Bugis all the way to borders to read books. Don’t be surprised, don’t be stunned.. Yes we really did that. On our way we stopped by Plaza Singapura as there was a rock climbing event and it attract a lot of crowds. It was there where I saw my secondary school crush. She was part of the organizer and she looked rather busy so I didn’t go over and said Hi.

Then later in the night when I went to Hereen, I saw a very familiar face and guess what!It was the tall lady again. She was with her female companion. My heart skipped a bit. Panic mode set in. Honestly speaking, it has been a very very damn fcuking long long time ever I met another lady who can disrupt my breathing. Wanted to approach her to ask for her number since opportunity don’t come knocking twice but I lacked the guts to go forward. I am not that handsome, only average looking. I am not that rich; in fact I think I am filthy poor. You can ask me go chiong mountain, go chiong river, run long distance, run SOC until I die and I can say no problem let’s do it but when it come to relationship matters I will be very hesitant, unable to come to a decision, wishy washy and afraid..very very much afraid. So the “old habits die hard” me decide to let the coin decide my destiny and unfortunately the result is against me. And so I saw her left with her friend and I felt disappointed. Perhaps it wasn;t meant to be at all.

Afterthoughts

Today I felt a lot of things are going against my direction. But at closer glance, it all boils down to me. As said before, the greatest enemy is not others, but myself. Indecisive, insecurity + lacks of guts in relationship matters often cause a great deal of trouble in my life and so I steer clear of them. Sometimes it is not that I don’t put in effort to forget and let go but how do you prevent yourself from thinking about that person even while you are sleeping! Na Bei Chao Barney ultimate gone-case-bonker situation. I think I shall resign myself to enduring this curse till I go University or I meet another lady who could equally blown me away. Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps…

I watched The Eye 2 before. It was a good movie.Now I hope The Eye 10 don't disappoint also. Anyone who dare to watch it with me?

Darn It! HongKong Gone. Next Stop Bangkok Please?

After our SSC 5 course end, there will be off days for us to take a break before we turn ops. Considering my POP parade will be held on a Friday and I only have to report back on Wednesday, that makes it a 4 days worth of rest. And so my fellow corporal trainees were discussing excitingly whether to go abroad during this period of rest for if not the chances of going abroad this year again is down to almost nil. We have set our sights on Hong Kong (though the plane tickets might be expensive) but I say just whack since $$ can be earn back but the opportunity to go abroad don’t come every now and then. But apparently for the month of April, Hong Kong will be hosting a convention and so according to reliable sources; the prices of the products will be jack up accordingly. What the FCUK!!! Another case of wrong time, wrong target! Imagine going Hongkong without shopping… then for fcuk do you want to go there? To see the cute dolphins in Ocean Park or smell the “smelly beancurd” around the streets? And so bo bian lan lan sux thumb we change our target to nearby destination Bangkok to shop, play + witness the worldwide famous “TIGER SHOW”! Since both places are in my ideal place of travel, I am pleased but hopefully this time, the plan will be able to materialize and not another case of “smoke screen form” I not I guess I will be reduce to slapping flies during the 4 days worth of rest.

Weekend Updates

I had my IPPT test this Wednesday. Got 25 points but still attain a silver because of my 2.4km.So for now it’s Hello $100 Bye Bye $200 Luckily there will be another test conducted next week so that give me a chance again to grab that elusive $200. Imagine what it can do to my bank account! As for the last IPPT, I thought I could make it below 945 timing but during the 3 laps, a case of very bad stitches strike me and the more I ran, the more painful it became. When I reach the finishing point, I was literally in pain for 10 minutes.. whether I was sitting down, standing up or squatting down. Never before I had experience such bad stitches after the run so serve me right for drinking water just before the 2.4km run. I shall try again next week and hopefully I’ll be again to grab that bloody $200 bucks and stuff it into my pockets!

Then we had our section live fire on Thursday. I was selected along with another bunch of corporal trainees to be demonstrators for the section live fire. Well I don’t know whether it is an honour or I was just plain “suay” Haha but all I did realize that fire movement down the course for the 1st time is fun, 2^nd time is sianz, 3^rd time is tiring and 4^th time is “see god: feeling. My No4 was totally soaked with sweat and my pant was dirty laden with mud. And because I have shot around 30 blanks before shooting the actual live rounds, I was quietly worried whether my AR-15 can take it without IA. Luckily it performed up to its task an I was secretly pleased to miss only 2 shots out of the 30 rounds.*winkz* This bond well for the next upcoming ATP range where I hope to achieve a marksmen to earn another bout of $200! Everything is about $$$ here. If SAF want to give, you might jolly well put in your best effort to get it.

Candy Lo - at first glance she may not be that pretty but she compensate all that with her wacky characteristic and that's what make people notice about her

Feeling Frustrated

Lots of things to wirte about lots of things to do but as usual there is always not enough time or should I rather say there is only so much time?

Want to post pictures on my blog, the program “picassa” was down. Want to post picture to my hp, IE was down so can’t launch the program. Want to post song to my ipod shuffle, installer cock up. And so I spent my whole afternoon troubleshooting this and that, time began running up and soon I found myself preparing to book in.

Hmm I wanted to do so much and now I can’t complete in time and it left me very very frustrated argggg!!!!

Well this coming week i will be going to Sembawang camp for my chemical defence lesson. I did it before and how I must do it again..sianz. Then on Thursday I will be going to NTU for our section live-firing. I did it before and I have to do it again. But this is different because going to NTU bring great joy to me! (Though the mosquitoes over there is really a bother) But at the end of the day, there is nothing much because we will not be entering the buildings at all.

I liked being in control, to know that everything went smoothly but sometimes when I am tired I will purposely lose control of the situation and let chaos ensue. This may sound weird because at the end of the day it is still me who has to clean up the mess. I realized Life is boring if everything is a routine. We should have events that are unexpected to happen occasionally to jolt us up from our senses in case we become too complacent.

Strangley these few weeks, the image of her appearing in my sleep started to become more and more consistent and dammit it is starting to disturb my sleeping pattern. What Is Happening To Me? And I am not too happy about it at all..

Events That Occurred This Week

This week has been quite hectic without much time for rest. We had our FIBUA (Fighting In Built Up Area) training on Tuesday around Lim Chu Kang area. The lesson was interesting. Everything was new, the concept, the movement, the command and control.. The only grouse was we were using AR15 instead of SAR21so you can imagine our long muzzle hitting against the wall and door frame whenever we move from 1 area to another. Lots of things happened, some funny some not. I was enjoying myself forgetting I should be serious instead until I got a reprimand from my PLT Sgt and it brought me to my senses. Gone were the smile, back came the seriousness. Every time on my way to the training area, (most likely in the western part of Singapore) there is a high probability the vehicle I am traveling in will passed by NTU. And I can only look with envy at the buildings, wondering when I can join them. But alas it is still not my time yet so I have to wait wait wait for another 16 months.

I went on board on the LST on Wednesday night. Her name was RSS Persistence. Before the trip I thought it will be a totally new and fun experience. After reaching shore, I changed my mind. Though the ship was huge, she was rocking left and right the whole night while traveling to South China Sea and it left me with a dull headache the moment I woke up on Thursday. Dull headache was mild thing..my fellow coursemate face was totally pale-white and the normally cheerful him was reduced to cupping his face in his hand while trying hard not to puke. Haha serve him right :-P.. The MG shot wasn’t exactly that fun either. While other details took only btw 5-10 mins to complete the shot, I took almost 1/2hrs because of the fcuking barrel!!! Broke out in cold sweat, knees weak, arm heavy and suddenly I forgot everything what I was taught because I was very much afraid if I pressed anything wrong the MG will misfire. Somehow I think I have a phobia about live firing because of 1 experience that occurred BMTC. Since then I hate range but nevertheless as part of the course requirement, I have to do it. The only highlight of the trip occurred on our way back to CNB when our CO ordered all of us to gather at the flight deck and related to us few stories about the navy. The scenario was perfect. The sun as setting and the wind is cool. I think that was the only thing that appeared to make the trip worthwhile afterall.

Sat was our ECP run. Frankly speaking, I liked ECP run because we can see the beautiful “moving scenery” as we ran from 1 end to another. As we ran along the track, you can see the faces of the young kids staring at us with “awe”, the teenagers wondering whether they are following into our foot step in few years time, the old people nodding their head in approval knowing that there will be a bunch of people looking after our homeland. I think the image alone is much better than all the NE talk they gave us seriously. And if you really want to spot pretty girls, just make your trip to ECP mac where I confirm + guarantee chop you have a whale of time having difficultly focusing on your food!

A secret leaked …shhh

Apparently I got a shock when my sergeant discovered about my blog. And he also left his mark behind in good fun warning me not to diss him or the course. I think his worries is unfound for because why would I want to do that? It should be me who should be worrying whether the things I wrote would piss him off haha..(scully he give me confinement how?) But as always, I will be tactful as what I write as usual. Singapore is a democratic country..remember? lol

Ps though very garang..I think my sergeant is actually quite a good and reasonable person.I shall asked him 1 fine day whether can I posted his pic in my blog for all to admire *winkz*

Far Far away in the South China Sea..yes that is where the ship will be travelling to..not to shoot any illegal immigrants or pirates mind you! just a simple live firing exercise in the vast wide ocean

This coming week I be taking this ship above..

16 SSC 5 junior commanders..photo taken at marsiling during a 1 day field training. All trying to act GARANG with GUTSO..when actually we are really a bunch of clowns!

Some Lessons I learned from Hitch was;

Number 1
60% of all human communication is non verbal. Body language. 30% is your tone. So that means that 90% of what you saying, aint coming out of your mouth.

Number 2
No matter what No matter when No matter who Any man has the chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.

Number 3
8 out 10 women believe that the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship.

Number 4
Life is not the amount of breath you take. It is the moments that take your breath away.

Number 5
Listen more and I mean really listen to what your date is talking about so you dont feel stupid and give ultra lame answers when she asked for your opinion later.

Coming Soon ! Can't wait to catch this movie..Already saw the movie poster at Shaw Towers

What A Day!

It’s been quite some time since I last update my blog since I book out..yep coz im too busy to meet up with my frens as well as settle some financial stuff. Now let’s see what I remember having done this week.

Well firstly, I was the ammo escort. The job scope of ammo escort is basically accompany the vehicle to draw ammo but they are the ones who work up the earliest and come back the latest. I had to wake up in wee hours in the morning when the sky is still dark and traveled from east to west in a 1.5 tonner traveling at 50km/hr! In the early morning ride, the cold wind really blowsss.. And it chills you to the bone. 1st time is fun, 2^nd time is routine but 3^rd time is shit! Haha but I’m stuck with this task and so it is my responsibility and duty to fulfill it.

So actually in short, the week was pretty hectic. I had my M203 and MG Live Fire, section outfield + the Brunei crown prince visiting CNB, I am in need of sleep very badly. Of course again with so much activity, time passed very easily.

Yesterday I had a small gathering with my polymates at Holland V. Though attendance was small, the feeling was there! Our Mother Miss Celin was Guest of Honour. Haven’t seen her for quite some time and it was very much her effort that the gathering was organized. Had a pretty great time, somehow old memories and behaviors came back and we were just like in the past, fooling and laming around with one another. A pity no one brought a camera to capture those fun moments.

Today I saw the back view of Miss Penguin! While I was walking down the street around city area, somehow there was this "deja vu" feeling and I instinctively turned my head toward my right and there she was with her friend. Unfortunately I was quite a distance away from them and decided not to cross the busy road and say “Hi”. (In case anyone start to brand me as unfriendly, I have to say this) I mean; what the fcuk, it is unnecessary and awkward anyway. Somehow, seeing her back view made me suddenly feel extremely tired and nervous (I swear my heartbeat really increased) as if I saw my biggest nightmare and have nowhere to run. ( Yes she is really that awesome and "powder ful"). This behavior is quite unexpected and I did not have this feeling for a very long time. But please kindly rest assured Miss Penguin is not as fearsome as I made out to be, she is actually quite a nice lady. All those i have written above is just bout of my imagination. I am trying out my literacy skill only.*winkz* Come to think of it, I came to realized;

“ Actually.. the greatest enemy is not others but myself “

Does this phrase sound familiar?

By Next Week I'll Be Getting My Hands on This Device Go Ipod Shuffle Go!

An Inkling For Oldies Song

John Denver - Annie's Song Lyrics

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest.
Like a mountain in spring-time
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert
like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arm.
Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you.
Come let me love you, come love me again.

Weekend Feeling

Wanting to love but trying so hard not to. Having to hold back my feelings for someone. That's one of the worst feelings in the world,

And I don't like feeling like this. I don't.

It sux. It's emotionally draining as you think day and night about that person when your mind idles..

Wanting to stop loving but the more you curb, the bigger the waves come to overwhelm the existence.

You'll still have to bear those feelings irregardless of the number of people who identify with you.

For those who keep thinking I am wallowing in self-pity, feeling miserable on weekends because I cant find anyone to play pool, can’t find anyone to go out and watch movie, can’t find anyone to have late night supper, can’t find anyone to really talk to.. I say “Fcuk You” :-p Haha.

Life is currently manageable because never before I feel so at ease in the current course as a trainee. The only minor blip is mentioned above; to hold back feeling, to remember certain someone on the weekends( because weekdays is too busy, and so you only find me typing this shit on weekends *winkz*) But for whatever the reason, life still have to go on.

“what doesn't kill you... leaves you no choice but to live"

ps: going to be a damn busy week ahead due to live firing exercise and outfield training. Sincerely hope it will not rain that much or else the whole lot of us suffer. How I miss outfield! Haha

My Bunkmates

In our small miserable bunk, there lived a total of 5 persons including me. Each of us has its own wonderful, quirky characteristics which made our stay in Changi fun and exciting. So let me introduced to all the 5 musketeers in Strike Squad 3.

First of all, we have The Gambler aka The Real Mr. Chao Keng. As the name suggested, this guy is a full time gambler who specialised in mahjong. As what he boasted, he can play mahjong for 3 days and night without any sleep. Gambling is his forte and with his quiet, soft-spoken and goody boy look, it is hard to phantom why in the hell did he like mahjong so much and with a penchant for talking cock and gloating other people. Unfortunately when he realized people started to turn offensive against him, he will begin to apologize profusely and start to sing “dou shi wo de cuo”. And did I forget to mention his favourite phrases include “shi san yao”, “da shi si” and last of all “ you mei you nao !”.

Secondly we have Mr. “Qing Ge Wang Zi” who aims to be a sensitive new age guy or a meterosexual. Liked to belt out endless “Love Song” with me as his back up vocal, together we always created a din whenever we shower in the toilets ( of course in separate cubicles!) Always has a smile on his face, he still smile when scolding people when he is angry. That’s why people don’t fear him at all.

Thirdly, we have Mr Fighting Fish aka Energizer Bunny who never give up. An ultimate garang soldier who always boasted he never report sick before, he finally broke the “curse” when he hit his forehead with the rifle handle. But not to worry, after some bleeding and 3 stitches, he is up and ready to go. Like to go outfield and with his ability to bear pain, he will make a good soldier provided he didn’t get into more series of unfortunate events!

Next we have Mr. Chun Li as the 4th bunkmates. He is a good and speedy soccer player who likes to go forward and score goals. Always wear two wrist bands on his wrist, he look like someone from the game “Street Fighter”.

Last of all I am Mr. Chao Keng, aka Mr. Miser aka Mr. Popeye. (These are the name they give to me) Honestly speaking I really don’t understand why they call me Mr Chao Keng when I didn’t really miss much of the lesson and participated in most of the activities with them. As for the term Mr. Popeye (it’s not because I like to eat spinach) it’s because I own a small Popeye pillow which I use to rest on my head or carry it to sleep whenever we have our IBM.

So with bunkmates like these, there can never be a dull moment in Changi..

Today Is The 2nd Day Of March

March finally came and it rained like nobody business, as the weather forecaster has promised at Changi Naval Base. Not that I am complaining though the bunk is still as hot as sauna in the night. And damn when I hung my clothes up on the roof for the sun to dry, only to see the sky opening up to “wash” my clothes thoroughly again. What the Fcuk!

Today Mr. Polar Bear made us run our PT run in the drizzling rain to show our “garangness” even though it is CAT 2 Status. Not that I am complaining about anything, in fact I’m pretty glad we completed the run even though initially we grumbled and complained about it when we heard his announcement the PT run will continued despite of the rain. Till now, I am very proud and honoured to say that I am part of the SSC 5 platoon who is able to run in step, sing out loud and meet the high standards set by Mr Polar Bear and our platoon sergeant. How I wish I can served out the remaining of my NS liability as a trainee..because I know once I began to turn operational, all those PT run, sport and games and crazy stuffs we do will ceased and I will definitely missed the times when I feel damn shagged and yet I could still managed to forced out a grin at my instructors to tell them “I’m OK thank you for your guidance”

1 thing while serving NS I have noticed is that my memory level has decreased..so much so I totally forgot about my knee specialist appointment at Alexandra Hospital till I flipped open my appointment card and to my horror, the date has passed. Now I am seriously considering whether to book another appointment, since my knee condition has improved considerably. We see how it goes.

I made mistakes in the past and sometimes I hated and blamed myself for being a bad guy. Till now I can’t really forgive myself. Sound like I’m a cold blood murderer hor? Haha but 1 thing I liked to prevent is to make another mistakes to replace the things I lost and luckily I managed to wake up my ideas.

And somehow I know I lost in the battle to “kick” her out of my life again and the feeling suxs. :P

Why Are You Here?

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Every Sunday is a Routine

Secondary School Gathering at Bugis

Saturday, March 26, 2005

What A Strange Day..

Friday, March 25, 2005

Darn It! HongKong Gone. Next Stop Bangkok Please?

Weekend Updates

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Feeling Frustrated

Events That Occurred This Week

Saturday, March 19, 2005

A secret leaked …shhh

Sunday, March 13, 2005

What A Day!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

An Inkling For Oldies Song

Weekend Feeling

Saturday, March 05, 2005

My Bunkmates

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Today Is The 2nd Day Of March

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